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Threesome….

July 3, 2017

Torah Portion Balak in a nutshell from www.chabad.org

Balak, the king of Moab, summons the prophet Balaam to curse the people of Israel. On the way, Balaam is berated by his donkey, who sees, before Balaam does, the angel that G‑d sends to block their way. Three times, from three different vantage points, Balaam attempts to pronounce his curses; each time, blessings issue forth instead. Balaam also prophesies on the end of the days and the coming of Moshiach.

The people fall prey to the charms of the daughters of Moab, and are enticed to worship the idol Peor. When a high-ranking Israelite official publicly takes a Midianite princess into a tent, Pinchas kills them both, stopping the plague raging among the people.

Watching the Netflix program “You Me Her” about a polyamorous relationship and listening to Sharon Salzberg on the Rich Roll Podcast talking about “Love”, I was thinking how does a threesome and love fit together? I am no Esther Perel,[1] so instead of trying to answer the question, I will talk about the number 3, giving examples of things in 3. I will keep it simple, just giving examples and food for thought.

Sharon’s new book “Real Love” is broken into 3 sections:

  • Love for oneself – (not in a conceited way, but as she says for your ‘Inner sufficiency’, and self-compassion to pick ourselves up and have resilience,
  • Love for others, and
  • Love for all.

Three signifies completeness and stability, as represented by the three Patriarchs and the three pilgrimage festivals – Passover, Shavuot, and Sukkot (I Kings 17:21; Daniel 6:10)[2].

An interesting concept of what the future may look like, from an interview with the MD of Daimler Benz (Mercedes Benz). He said that their competitors are no longer other car companies but Tesla (obvious), Google, Apple, Amazon ‘et al’ are……  he goes on to say “There have always been the 3 constants …    Death, Taxes and CHANGE!”. I am happy to share this interview. The message is that we are going to have to change…

Last week I went to a brilliant lecture on Elie Wiesel by Rabbi Kennard. Rabbi Kennard was superb and I wish I could have taken notes or recorded it. Instead of talking about Elie’s life he spoke of lessons we can learn from his legacy. The 3 lessons and their meanings are:

  • To Act – take action; do something.
  • To Ask
    • say something in order to obtain an answer or some information.
    • say to (someone) that one wants them to do or give something.
  • To Learn – gain or acquire knowledge of or skill in (something) by study, experience, or being taught

In an article[3] by LinkedIn CEO, Jeff Weiner titled “The Three Qualities of People I Most Enjoy Working With” he lists the following characteristics:

  • dream big,
  • get sh*t done, and
  • know how to have fun.

Triathlon coach Chris Hauth talks about the Pillars of a 3-Legged stool to achieving excellence and how all 3 are needed to avoid “falling”. He says that type of excellence is going to bring us

  • greater health,
  • peace of mind and
  • happiness, and, obviously, evolve our character.

The right balance in all aspects of our lives are needed to achieve Peak Performance. He says that these fundamental 3 pillars are:

  • Athletics,
  • Professional &
  • the personnel leg.

He mentions 3’s for other aspects of health and wellbeing, these 3’s are all under our control, meaning that we decide to do them, we learn techniques to do them, and we do them, and then we benefit from them. These include:

  • sleep/recovery,
  • nutrition, and
  • integrated training. He says, “There is no “hack” for integrated training.”

Chris often talks about race preparation. He lists 3 aspects of being ready to race:

  • fit,
  • healthy, and
  • motivated.

In the Tim Ferris Podcast[4] with investor and LinkedIn founder Reid Hoffmann titled – “10 Commandments for Start-up Success.” In the Podcast, they talk about the 3 ‘parts’ of Grit. These are needed to scale a start-up businesses. Reid emphasises that we must stick to this, knowing the road ahead is going to be hard. These parts are:

  • 1 part determination;
  • 1 part ingenuity; and
  • 1 part laziness – Yip! ie as he said to conserve your energy and use as a precious commodity

In an article by Rabbi Mirvis on Parsha Korach, he says that ‘great people’ are those who:

  • live selflessly for the sake of others,
  • enriching our society, and
  • are pious.

He then goes on to says to be great means:

  • being a mensch,
  • being there for the sake of others, and
  • being humble whether the world knows about you.

This kind of individual is Takeh (really a Mensch). He/she contributes and leaves a Positive Emotional Footprint:

  • on all whom he/she “touches,”
  • on his communities;
  • and on this world.

Ps – The definition of a mensch[5] is a person who is

  • decent,
  • honest and
  • upstanding.

In this week’s Parsha Bilam tries 3 times unsuccessfully to curse the Jewish people.

The message of this Torah portion is the reminder that no matter how many times in history people plotted the destruction of the Jewish people, G-d stood by our sides, and frustrated their plans. When we remain a unified nation, all working toward a common goal, but retaining individuality, and holiness, we know that no nation, no magic, no curses can harm us.

Rich Roll in his Podcast[6] with Sharon Salzberg, talks about three essential life skills and how meditation can help us master them by training our attention.

  • compassion,
  • mindfulness, &
  • concentration.

I am currently reading a book Peak Performance by Brad Sulberg and Steve Magness titled “Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success.” I bought the book as I heard them on a podcast and I am navigating this OTS. The theme of their book is their formula STRESS + REST = GROWTH. The book does not only look at sports, but also looks at the arts and business. From an intellectual and creative performer perspective, they noted a not to dissimilar process to how sportsman periodise their training. The 3-step process is:

  • immersion – total engagement in their work with focus,
  • Incubation – Rest and Recovery, and
  • Insight – the “aha” moment and the emergence of new ideas and growth in their thinking.

Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences” – Eckhart Tolle

 

 

 

[1] (In a cover story, The New York Times called her the most important game changer in sexuality and relational health since Dr. Ruth.)

[2] http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/608781/jewish/On-the-Meaning-of-Three.htm

 

[3] https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140824235337-22330283-the-three-qualities-of-people-i-most-enjoy-working-with

[4] http://tim.blog/?s=reid+hoffman

[5] Read more at http://www.yourdictionary.com/mensch#sk87bHqfWly5e3ic.99

[6] http://www.richroll.com/podcast/sharon-salzberg/

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